Big Lie/Happily Ever After

Oh, romantic comedies....I admit, I've enjoyed a few, but I think they are on the bottom tier of American cinema. Many men would agree with that statement, while many women would disagree. Romantic comedies are so formulaic. I like to see something new when I see a movie. It's interesting how most rom-coms (or just regular romance movies) are about a white couple, so I guess that any movie with a non-white girlfriend/boyfriend automatically breaks the mold. But that's just a technicality. It can still have the usual generic plotline.
As I reviewed the Manatu reading, one part caught my eye: on page 12, it says, "films entertain and circulate ideas about our culture about people." There's always been the debate about whether movies mirror real life, or real life mirrors the movies. I think it's a little of both. As for the romance movies go, I'd say people expect real life to mirror the movies, but that is rarely the case. This often leads for high, unrealistic expectations and disappointments, especially for women. On many occasions I have watched movies with my girl friends, and they say, "Why can't real guys be like that?" I'm pretty sure it was in the Manatu reading that women learn about dating from romantic movies, and men learn about it from porn, or maybe I just heard that somewhere else. I'm sure some men watch porn and wish real women would be like that. But these are just fantasies, and people should recognize them as entertainment.
The Manatu reading also talked about the tendency for black men to date white women, but not vise versa. That's certainly the case for movie characters, but I don't think it's necessarily the case in real life. My grandparents once said they thought it was rarer for a black woman to date a white man, but I have personally known many black women to date white men. I think people often rely too much on statistics, or fictional representations, and these aren't always true to everyday life. That's why the "Big Lie" and "Happily Ever After" can be dangerous--romantic movies especially appeal to young girls, and those girls are very impressionable. Directors like Spike Lee claim they are depicting life as it truly is. I bet there are many stupid people out there who believe the movies show real life.

Big Lie

The big lie, as defined by Haskell and re-iterated by Manatu, seems to be that by re-inforcing 'natural' or appropriate gender differences there is a reinforcing of women's inferiority status. While a preference for the idea of romance instead of sex, or of realizing intimacy through romance as opposed to sexuality, is often considered to be a hallmark of feminimity, as portrayed in traditional romance it also often seems to be a method of devaluation. Because this traditional romance can only be realized by acquiescence (eventually) to the desires and autonomy of masculinity, it in fact represents women as needing men's guidance or dominance as part of the natural sphere of gender roles. Whether or not women are actually more 'romantic' than men becomes secondary to the use of this concept in plotting which requires women to eventually cede autonomy to the desires of the opposing gender.

The 'happily ever after' portion of this seems to be the incentive for such submissiveness. By relinquishing self-control to the inevitable union which lies at the end of most romances, you are guaranteed perpetual happiness. Clearly (and this has been stated before and more eloquently than I will) this doesn't allow for chance, death, social factors and most importantly for personality. As the divorce rate in the post-war world adequately showed us, perpetual and monogamous happiness might not actually be a goal that everyone can actualize. The use of 'happily ever after' combined with the 'big lie' of certain gender role representation is a way for formula romance to appeal to certain fantasies, desires and hopes of viewers (male and female, I would argue).

The Love Lie

I think the big lie in romance films is that the relationship is going to work out in the end eventually, no matter what has happened before, but in the end it is all going to be good. Of course many people know that this is not true (therefore the expression 'it's like in the movies') but still I think it does not bother most people because if we wanna see a bad relationship we can just look around. Watching films is also about escaping reality to a certain degree, and in that sense people watch romance movies to see a couple living happily ever after in the end. Of course this is especially appealing to women, who usually enjoy those kind of movies more than men, because (I hate to say this but from my own experiences it is actually true) many women have had bad experiences with men in terms of relationships (don't get me wrong, it's not that I treated one of my girlfriends badly or anything but I have many female friends and almost all of them have had boyfriends who were assholes). In that sense, I think those movies portray an alternative reality where differences can always be overcome in the end.

The Big Lie in Romance

I feel like "The Big Lie" that is presented in romance films and novels is that things will work out in the end, in some form or another. If a woman in the narrative is not paired up with some amazing man, then she will at least find solace in the company of her friends (even if they have already been paired up with the man of their dreams). I think this is unfair both to men and women because it creates ridiculous expectations for women to which no man can live up. This sort of leads into the issue of the "Happily Ever After" ending, which also creates rather ludicrous expectations. It has already been suggested that people go to movies to escape; that is, they do not want to see a sad ending or a "normal" ending in a movie. We have become so inundated with the "Happily Ever After" narrative that when we do encounter a movie that does not end "happily," we leave the theater feeling down and even depressed, even though it very well could be the ending we would expect in our own lives.

The Big Lie

I think the big lie that film and novels feed into woman's brains is the concept of a passionate and eternal love affair. Romance novels give woman the false idea that somewhere out there, there is a person waiting to sweep them off of their feet. Now I don't mean to sound extremely negative, but as most of us know, the chances of having a crazy love affair is pretty rare.

Case and point Twilight. That phenomenon has made young girls and their mothers fall in love with a fictitious vampire who sparkles in the sunlight. Although this film doesn't fit with African American cinema, it fits perfectly into the "happily ever after" mind set..

These happily ever after films usually portray gender roles in a very negative light. With many romantic comedies, they tend to have a young girl who is usually unhappy with her life...UNTIL a man comes into her life. We've seen it all before. These films make woman think that the only way to happiness if aiding and being loved by a man; which is really not true at all. Love doesn't always mean happiness!

For Colored Girls

Well...I'm sorry to say, but I was not a big fan of Tyler Perry's rendition of For Colored Girls.

The main thing I have to say is that it should remain a play and only a play. That could just be my opinion, but I really felt like Perry's use of the monologues really didn't translate on film. I found the film way too melodramatic and over acted on several accounts.

I understand that this movie is supposed to be a very serious, very dramatic film, but half the time I just wanted to laugh. That makes me feel like a horrible person, but it's the truth. I think that Perry could have done a better job at modernizing the story for contemporary viewers.

Big Lie

Basically, the "Big Lie" that women are fed through various forms of media is that in order to be happy, complete, successful, or feminine, we must be in a relationship. It is infuriating to me that so many narratives feature women who are hardworking, strong, and confident, having all the tools to succeed in life, yet only when they find love do they really appear whole. This is teaching young girls that we must depend on men for our happiness, and that all of our effort should be put into attracting the opposite sex. This makes women value themselves according to their relationship status, telling themselves that if they are single, they must not be "good enough." It also dictates how women should act in love, telling us we should be "good girls" and resist the sexual urges only men are supposed to have. This in turn creates a binary as to what is "feminine" and what is "masculine. "

As far as the "Happier Ever After" narrative goes, I believe that it furthers gender roles, claiming men are the rescuers of the helpless women. Fairytales teach us that once we find love, everything will be great, and all of our problems will go away. It creates a femininity that is passive, waiting for the active males to save us, because apparently women cannot help themselves.

The scary part of all of this is that it is so ingrained in our media, and our minds, that most do not recognize it unless it is pointed out to them. The media has a way of normalizing this "Big Lie" that makes women, and men, not think twice about it.

A Big Lie

On reality television the other day there was a man whose girlfriend was complaining about his lack of chivalry. He turned toward the cameramen and said "I blame Hollywood." The "big lie" in Hollywood is closely tied to the notion of living "happily ever after" and the gender roles that are misconstrued because of it. This woman on television fell victim under the thought that this man should be undeniably charming, sweeping her off of her feet. The romantic relationships constructed in Hollywood and romance novels are probably completely foreign to this man. Implicit in this example is the fact that most relationships are more like the couple on reality television than in romance novels. I attributed most of this to temporal differences. Successful films often last around 2 hours. Successful relationships take much longer. Making note of this allows us as viewers to enjoy "the big lie" and the idea of "living happily ever after" while adapting its' values and goals to our own daily lives.

The Big Lie

The problem with the "big lie" and the "happily ever after" themes are that they are central to the Hollywood narrative. The reason for their popularity is because that is what Hollywood believes the people want to see, and rightfully so. If the norm was to portray relationships as they typically exist why would people want to see them? People arguably mainly go to movies to escape. If the norm of movies was the girl gets dumped and is depressed throughout the whole film would that be entertaining? My response is no. People, particularly girls want to believe that all relationships will work out if they want them too. Watching a film that shows the guy leaving the girl might hit too close to home for some people and remind them of the struggles which they have endured. These films and romance novels tell us that we should have all our emotional needs met but that's the lie. The truth is we all go through struggles and when things do finally work out then that's when we get to live "happily ever after." Sorry if that sounded too preachy.

The Big Lie

If romantic comedies do provide nothing more than a big lie, that makes them no different than the any other Hollywood genre films. There may be a big lie of westerns that celebrates a fascist Manichean vision of the old west. There may be a big lie of World War II movies that - in spite of all the horrors of war - still celebrate an idea of war heroism. Romantic comedies promote a hetero-normative vision of romantic coupling, one that proposes marriage as a singular approach to life happiness. Such a "happily ever after" narrative damages gender relations for suggesting that male and female roles must somehow be static.

My own problem with this suggestion is that genres are or can be great things to work with and against. If the standard problem with romantic comedies is that they present static gender roles, what do we do with a film like Adam's Rib, in which Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn are constantly undercutting or reworking the classic marriage paradigm? It's a little easy to write off an entire genre of films, for somehow promoting a problematic vision of gender relations. It's much harder, and much more interesting, to locate irony and self-awareness that exist in even the lamest cultural artifacts.

For Colored Gurls

While I didn't exactly enjoy the film I respect what it was trying to do. If you understand that it is a screenplay written for the stage and not the big screen it is easier to digest. I respect that it stayed true to its form but I think Tyler Perry needs to understand that the audience he is playing to will not enjoy or unlikely to enjoy this type of film. In this same aspect I think the screenplay encouraged overacting as is common in stage acting. There is brilliant acting in this film but the monolouges do not help this much. Things I did enjoy were the progression of the African women in the film is progressive for the Female African American community. They all seperated themselves from the masculine male counterparts. After watching this film I do want to see the play as this is where the story got much of the fame, but as a film I probably will never watch it again.

The "Lovable" Lie

It seems as if the big joke about romantic movies involving African American women, is the gender stereotypes that are never challenged in really any of the films. African American women fall into their predictable roles on screen as sex objects, castrating bitches, or Jezebels. Men, tend to fall into their own respective categories that compliment those female archetypes as well.

In addition to having very little redemptive aspects for the women in these films, there is also something of a formula that produces the "ideal" happy ending. This typically involves a woman looking for a man to settle down with by the film's ending. If a woman does not find a man by the film's ending, she seems to be portrayed as this hopeless whore doomed to be single, but promiscuous for the rest of her life, while the woman who has "succumbed" to a man is awarded with a house and family that she implicitly must maintain.

Big Lie

I think its obvious that the "big lie" is that the majority of films and novels present the idea of the perfect guy and that women find them then have a happy ending. It's that exact idea that draws women into a good romance book or movie, to see it happen fictionally if it hasn't already happened in their own lives. Not to say that all women are unhappy or single, but regardless of relationship status I think most women are drawn to romance in general. The issue with this is that the way hollywood constructs this idea very typically and is not always true to reality. But then again without the general aspects of what is involved in a romantic novel or film, it can't be catergorized under that genre.

Well Duh

Pardon the obvious but I think "Hustle and Flow" would be a great example for this blog. The film is entirely and makes the narrative stronger by the use of music. Djay get the idea to rap about his experiences as a pimp and how hard it is. The rest of the film is either about the difficulties of producing the song (money, building the studio, lyrics, and getting heard) and the other is about experiences that get written into the song. I think this film reaffirms the stereotype that the only way for a black man to get out of the streets from a life of crime is to rap about it and in this rap he/she appeal to young Black Americans. The evident representation of popular rap themes in this film adds to that theory and the experiences of an African American Male. The music isn't so much imaginative as it uses popular rap culture. Other black experience film have music, but none that reference the experiences and strengthen the narration like "Hustle and Flow"